AUS - One Big Melting-Pot

Recently, there’s been a huge fuss about parking spaces in the engineering side of campus. (The place most of you like to call, the dead zone? the hell hole? Nerdville? Yes, we’ve heard it all.) You see, it’s only been a few weeks since “they” decided we needed parking manners. What on Earth were they thinking?! We’re engineers!! They can’t do this to us!! We created parking spaces. Heck, we created electricity. (Snobs, I know!)

Meanwhile, the crisis for parking space continues. Students are multiplying faster than the bacteria that replicates real fast. Yah, that one! And each student has his own car, not to mention the students who come from light-years away from the dorms to park next to the schools (what’s that about?) I’m not criticizing anybody here. I’m no better myself. My sister and I come in two separate cars!! We leave home at the same time, and come back from university at the exact same time; we’re so good at this synchronizing business. Ow and guess what? One of my friends recently got her drivers’ license. Dammit, that’s one more car in the lot.

But hey, it’s ok. We can manage; we’re the AUS, for God’s sake! We’ll just put up cones in front of all the parking entrances, and not let anyone in, and build new parking lots in the deserts of Garayen suburb! And the result: We have more and more engineering students coming late to classes. The shame! The horror! And we have more architecture students faking heart attacks so they’d call emergency and stack all their designs and equipment in the ambulance which drives them all the way to the architecture building. A girl I know had to hitch a ride with the pizza guy from the new secluded parking lots to the engineering building. Right on, sista!!

So that’s what’s been going on; every piece of flat land on AUS campus has been turned into parking space, and is under maximum protection by our security officers thank God the police aren’t doing it. And, heck, who needs a new library when you can turn it into parking space! Tear that thing down. That’s so genius, why didn’t I think of it earlier. In short, AUS has turned into one huge parking lot.

But, where does the money for the new lots come from? The parking violations. DUH! And, rumor has it that the remaining lands are being sold in the black market (next to the Old Souk) to Sharjah millionaires to build paid parking spaces. People, don’t you see it? The lots are taking over. Soon, all we’ll have is a preserve! We’ll be like strangers in our own lands. The Native Americans didn’t have such a happy ending, why would we?