Since I'm overwhelmed with work this week, I won't be able to come up with something new, but here's something I wrote last summer when I worked in an Electricity and Water Authority.
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Gas Turbines For Dumb Asses
I’m supposed to tell Boss what I learned about GTs during the past week. (For all you dumb asses out there, GT stands for Gas Turbine.) I also have to explain the different systems of the GT. (Again, it’s Gas Turbine.)So…
#1- GT stands for Gas Turbine, yet again. And, it will remain this way until I say no more. So, quit gaping at me every time I say GT. It’s not jargon.
#2- No, a GT is not something you take when you’re constipated. As much as you want it to be, it’s not. But, it’s pretty close!
#3- Do not touch a GT. It will suck you in. If you’re lucky, they may still be able to identify your body as the only person stupid enough to go near a GT without a helmet.
#4- GTs are not toys. No, you can’t have one for your birthday, even if you’re turning 21; it needs constant maintenance. Stick to a car.
#5- Do not take a leak in the Lube Oil system. It will cause the machine to trip.
#6- A machine trip is not one you’d want to go to, for there is no free food.
#7- If the phone rings every two minutes, don’t worry, it’s only the alarm system programmed to buzz whenever a dumb ass fly passes by the GT.
#8- Do not use the combustion chamber to light your cigarette, because second hand smoke is dangerous for the GT. And you could die (not of lung cancer.)
#9- Smoking kills. So do GTs.
Gas Turbines For Dumb Asses
I’m supposed to tell Boss what I learned about GTs during the past week. (For all you dumb asses out there, GT stands for Gas Turbine.) I also have to explain the different systems of the GT. (Again, it’s Gas Turbine.)So…
#1- GT stands for Gas Turbine, yet again. And, it will remain this way until I say no more. So, quit gaping at me every time I say GT. It’s not jargon.
#2- No, a GT is not something you take when you’re constipated. As much as you want it to be, it’s not. But, it’s pretty close!
#3- Do not touch a GT. It will suck you in. If you’re lucky, they may still be able to identify your body as the only person stupid enough to go near a GT without a helmet.
#4- GTs are not toys. No, you can’t have one for your birthday, even if you’re turning 21; it needs constant maintenance. Stick to a car.
#5- Do not take a leak in the Lube Oil system. It will cause the machine to trip.
#6- A machine trip is not one you’d want to go to, for there is no free food.
#7- If the phone rings every two minutes, don’t worry, it’s only the alarm system programmed to buzz whenever a dumb ass fly passes by the GT.
#8- Do not use the combustion chamber to light your cigarette, because second hand smoke is dangerous for the GT. And you could die (not of lung cancer.)
#9- Smoking kills. So do GTs.
#10- Bearings are not balls.
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I was lucky I didn't get kicked out. So, don't try this at home.
4 comments:
I can see you have a talent... i just dont know in what =)
why, writing technical manuals, obviously!! *smug look on face*
But I want a gas turbine!!!!
I thought i knew enough about GTs :S
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